12.12.2018, Harku

It is the time of reflection, it is the time of solitude, the time of inner settling. So much has been wound up and now it is the moment to grasp it, to  acknowledge it. This time I am going to be red. Sometimes an awareness of something requires to live [I mistyped “love” for several times] through oftentimes – every time through a different spectrum. This time it is red. The awareness of my privileges is deeply in flesh and bones at the moment that I barely can breathe within the sea of blood. My chest aches under the acknowledgment of this. It might lead to feel the shame, but it is not to be ashamed of, it is about to become awake. To become awake into the gratitude filled with the blood full of life. I am grateful about my home, about my daughter, about my living parents and the grandparents, about the wise and good friends, etc. It is the time for the deep and everlasting gratitude. This time the gratitude is through the spectrum of privilege. The things I am privileged in are not due to my actions and will solely; these are the circumstances, I have born into; into this family, into this country, into this part of the world. As it has been said – we can only act in our 40 percent, the other percent belongs to the God. I do not know about the percentages, but not all what I have and am does not solely rely on my personal input.
To know what is happening elsewhere is not the best way to feel better about what you have. Many who have tried this know it does not work in this way. But to know what is happening elsewhere, is to get to grasp the flexibility of a human being, to be inspired by this (do not get me wrong- not to be inspired by the sufferings, but what we actually can go through), to go deep with compassion, to open the heart. To hear, to listen, to be there for… Individualism that is introduced by the mainstream life coaching and many, many nowadays spiritual teachings is a trap; it is not the way of personal growth as it is indicated. Instead, I would like to hear your story, to embrace it, to be in this with you. I would like to embrace the interconnection, to grow together, to open my heart for more. It takes more! After realizing this all (again) I felt that I was poured over with the Great Mother’s menstruation blood. It is all red now. It is pouring and pouring… The will arises. The Red Winter. Thank you!