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Olen selles maailmas. Siin ja praegu. Ja ma ei saa täielikult antust osa võtta. Mu organism on tundlik paljude asjade suhtes selles maailmas. See on kõrvalejäetus. Kui algab kevad, algab õud. Olen omaenda õudusse suletud. Soovin kogu südamest talve uut algust. Ma soovin hingata.

 

2013 IN THE END OF WINTER I WISHED A BEGINNING OF WINTER,  Dimanche Rouge, Kultuuritehas Polymer, Tallinn, Eesti
2013 IN THE END OF WINTER I WISHED A BEGINNING OF WINTER,  Patarei Kultuuritolm, Tallinn, Eesti

„Talve lõppedes soovisin talve algust” on pihtimuslik 20-minutiline performance, kus kunstnik seisab tasakaalu hoida püüdes kivil ja räägib üleüldse esimest korda elus oma kogemusest allergiaga; sellest, kuidas ta on selle kaudu isoleeritud nii maailmast, kus allergeenid esinevad, kui ka teistest inimestest nii mittemõistmise kui ka paljudesse tegevustesse kaasamatuse tõttu. Kunstnikul on seljas sini-must-valged riided, sest tema jaoks on suur konflikt kodumaa-armastuse ja allergia vahel Eestimaa õhu ja toidu suhtes. Work in progress’i esitamise ajal eksperimenteeris kunstnik esinemise ajal vabalt tulevate mõtete printsiibiga. Dimanche Rouge’l järgis esitus ettekande vormi koos Power Point show’ga.

 

I am within the world. Here and now. And, I cannot wholly partake of all that is offered. My organism is sensitive to many things in the world. This is an exclusion. When spring starts a horror starts. I am enclosed into my own horror. I wish with all my heart that winter starts again. I want to breathe. (Kaia Otstak)

 

2013 In the End of Winter I Wished a Beginning of Winter, Dimanche Rouge, Culture Factory Polymer, Tallinn, Estonia
2013 In the End of Winter I Wished a Beginning of Winter, Patarei Kultuuritolm, Tallinn, Estonia

In the End of Winter I Wished a Beginning of Winter is a confession type of 20 minute long performance, where the artist stands on a rock, trying to hold a balance, and talks for the first time of her life about the personal experience with the allergy. How it has been isolated from the world, where are the allergens are, and from the people due to non-understanding mentality and activities from which cannot take part. The artist wears blue-black-white clothes, because there is a conflict for her between the allergy and Estonian air and Estonian food. During the work in progress the artist experimented with the freely flown association principle. At the Dimanche Rouge performance was framed with the Power Point show.

 

performance TALVE LÕPPEDES SOOVISIN TALVE ALGUST, Kaia Otstak, 13, juuli 2013, Patarei Kultuuritolm, Tallinn, Eesti, filmis Rait Rosin
performance IN THE END OF WINTER I WISHED A BEGINNING OF WINTER, Kaia Otstak, 13 Jul 2013, Patarei Kultuuritolm, Tallinn, Estonia, filmed by Rait Rosin

 

performance TALVE LÕPPEDES SOOVISIN TALVE ALGUST, Kaia Otstak, 17, okt. 2013, Dimanche Rouge, Kultuuritehas Polymer, Tallinn, Eesti, fotod: Hele Mägi
performance IN THE END OF WINTER I WISHED A BEGINNING OF WINTER, Kaia Otstak, 17 Oct 2013, Dimanche Rouge, Culture Factory Polymer, Tallinn, Estonia, photos by Hele Mägi